Narcissists, Selfies, mirrors, how needy are you ?

Narcissists Are Just Extremely Needy People, According to Study

Narcissists Are Just Extremely Needy People, According to Study

They need you almost as much as they need to tell everyone about how great they are.

Everybody knows a narcissist, but not everybody has a parent who’s one. My mother is a huge narcissist — she makes everything about her, and the comfort of others is never her concern.

Recently, she hurt her back and called the ambulance (at 4AM) when the pain became unbearable. However, my mother didn’t like being in the hospital, so she checked herself out the next day, demanding that my niece come pick her up. It was fine … except she wasn’t fine; her back still had four fractures, and she needed medical care.

In order to have everything (including a possible stay in a rehabilitation center) covered by my mother’s insurance, she needed to go back into the hospital and stay for three nights. My mother lives alone and has never driven, so she needed to call the ambulance again to be taken back to the hospital.

A family member, who’d come to take care of her, offered to take her. But by then my mother had become annoyed with the family member and cast her out of the house.

Among my mother’s more colorful traits, she hates being driven on the freeway; it’s back roads all the way for her. So, rather than call an ambulance during the day, she deliberately called them at 4AM, this way she avoided being driven in any traffic on the freeway.

Of course, the fact that my nephew was woken up at 4AM when Life Alert called, or that my mother called my niece at 6AM — and that maybe it would’ve been nice to take other people’s feelings into consideration — never crossed her mind.

And just like my mother, individuals with narcissistic personality disorder believe that the world revolves around them. This condition is characterized by a lack of ability to empathize with others and a desire to keep the focus on them at all times.

Which is why I was (not so) surprised when I found a study from Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience. The study found that narcissists may talk and act confident, but their brains don’t lie. At a neural level, narcissists are needy.  

A research team, led by David Chester at the University of Kentucky at Lexington, recruited 50 undergrad students and had them complete a standard measure of narcissism. Participants who agreed with statements such as, “I think I’m a special person” were given high narcissism scores.

Next, the researchers had the students lie in a special brain scanner that uses diffusion tensor imaging, a technology that measures the amount of connectivity between the brain areas, and how much conversation there is between the brain’s various functional hubs.

Chester and his team were especially interested in the density of white matter tracts between a region at the front of the brain known as the medial prefrontal cortex (MPFC) which is associated with thinking about ourselves, and another deeper region known as the ventral striatum, associated with reward and feeling good.

They found that narcissists may say they have high self-esteem, but the brain scan evidence suggests that narcissists actually have an internal deficit in self-reward connectivity. In other words, narcissists have to seek out affirmation from others to make up for the lack of it in their subconscious.

“Our findings do not suggest that narcissists are a ‘lost cause’ because of any perceived immutability of brain structure,” stated Chester in the study.

Narcissists need you to believe that they’re great, and while they don’t care what’s happening in your life, they need you to be focused on them at all times. They’re seriously needy.

This information is supposed to make us feel sympathy for narcissists, but it’s difficult to do that when they always seem to be screaming, “It’s all my about my needs.”

Written by Christine Schoenwald, and reposted with permission from YourTango

 

The meaning of flowers | Better sending flowers with the plant than cutting flowers and sending them dead !

Sending flowers is a wonderful gesture that will brighten most anyone’s day. Whether it is for a special occasion or just a small act of kindness, bouquets and arrangements are a universal way to show you care. Although it is nice to get a beautiful bouquet, layering it with meaning can make the arrangement that much more impactful.

The association between flowers and symbolic meanings rose to popularity in the Victorian era. While most of us don’t have common knowledge of exactly what message flowers may be sending today, then it would be a big faux pas to send a yellow carnation,the equivalent of expressing disdain towards a suitor, instead of a red rose. The meanings of many of the flowers isn’t quite the same today, especially considering aloe might have been a sign of bitterness instead of a useful gift!

Whether or not the precise message is clear when sending a bouquet, it is an interesting way to guide floral arrangements and a fascinating glimpse into a bygone era. The infographic below details what flowers mean based on both color and style. Perhaps instead of just saying “I’m thinking about you,” your next bouquet can say much more.

Flower Colors and Meaning

Tips to keep your home office tidy ! | Homeworking Health & Deco

3 Methods To Keep Your Home Office Organized

3 Methods To Keep Your Home Office Organized

It doesn’t take long for the home office to become the catch-all location for all those little things that seem too hard to deal with…bank statements, old pictures, lists upon lists and just about everything else. So, it’s no surprise that many of us resort to either blindly ignoring the fact that our paper piles have become small mountains, or aimlessly arranging and rearranging what is already there. Organizing your office does not need to be a big ordeal if you do it right. Here are three fantastic methods to help you keep your home office organized, once and for all.

1. Purge & Refresh

This is called starting from scratch. Empty your office area completely—pull out all of the boxes, the files, the desk clutter, all of it! Now look around at what you’ve compiled and decide what you don’t use and what has outstayed its welcome—it’s time to purge. If you can’t decide why an item must stick around or if you haven’t needed or used it in ages, send it away. Toss, recycle and donate anything you remove from your office. Then, section by section, return your remaining items to an organized and useful location. Give each item a spot that makes sense. Another tip? Label like nobody’s business! Make it’s clear where each item belongs to make the cleanup process later a little simpler.

2. Command Center

This is ideal for an operational genius—the type of person always on the go, running many activities at once. Set up a time-sensitive organization system that allows you to clearly see what is priority and what isn’t. Use a series of folders, trays, or boxes labeled Today, Tomorrow, Next Week, and Waiting on Response to organize papers and items that require your attention. Assign discard dates to each paper item; you don’t need to keep everything forever! Use small sticky notes to label the point at which each document may be shredded or recycled.

3. Color Coding Is Your Friend

Color coding your office is actually a really intuitive way to keep track of your office items and make sure you can find exactly what you need. Color helps categorize and file large numbers of paperwork and can actually make you more efficient by helping you locate what you need more quickly. Here are some ideas: Green=financial, Red=medical, Blue=insurance, Yellow=personal, Orange=house.

With these techniques as your guide, you’ll be well on your way to the organized office dream!

 

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